Ethics and Morals

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Ethics and morals are about our behavior in relation to other people, beings, places, things and events. In the U.S. there’s a tendency to think of morals in terms of sexuality, with the interesting omission of aggression, but my dictionary disagrees. It defines ethics in terms of morality and morality in terms of ethics. And for the most part, I think far more harm is done by violence and aggression than by sexuality—unless the sex is violent. But in our culture, violence is almost encouraged by the media and the culture at large.

Without a working ethics that works decently for most people things tend to go bad, whether it’s a family, community, nation or the world. The basic question with ethics and immorality is this: In every situation we can ask, “Who or what is being helped or harmed here (or will be or has been helped or harmed) by doing this or that? How? How beneficial or destructive? For or to whom? –Or what, in what ways, when, where, and under what circumstances?

Answering those questions involves looking closely at the down-to-earth specifics of each real event and at the likely results of any given action. That requires us to develop and sharpen our ability to tell what’s actually happening in any given situation. Observation, clear thinking, and intuition all play roles.

All this requires letting go of some of our old ideas. As psychologist Carl Rogers reminds us, “Many people. . . have regarded the facts as possible bearers of disaster, as potential enemies. The facts are always friendly.” Trying to find out what’s really so is the essence of seeking and speaking truth. It’s impossible to move toward higher consciousness without taking that step.

Trying to pretend that we never act in ways that harm us or others requires lying to ourselves, to others, or both. That’s what “cognitive dissonance” is all about. And sometimes “repression” as well. We want to think well of ourselves. We want others to think well of us. And so when we act in a way that’s harmful to someone or something we create a cover story that makes us look good; that makes our actions seem to be more helpful or less injurious than they are.

But we can learn to observe our thoughts, feelings, and sensations, we can stop ourselves from acting or speaking in harmful ways. That begins with the discipline of simply noticing unhelpful thoughts as they rise up in our minds, and then letting to of our inclinations to get something we want (material or immaterial) by injuring someone else or putting them down. Then, if I’m not doing something nasty to somebody, I have no reason to cover what I’m doing with a fig leaf by trying to justify it or tell myself and others that it really doesn’t hurt anybody—even when it does.

A wild card is the fact that sometimes the answer to “Who or what is being helped or harmed by doing this or that? How?” is “I don’t know.” In that case the best course of action is to add, “Let’s find out.” And along with that question there’s often another: “How can we reduce or minimize unnecessary suffering?” 

I like to call asking and answering the two questions just above “A moral and ethical Rock of Gibraltar.” They’re a foundationstone for moving toward more constructive behavior. And for developing a richer, more fulfilling consciousness of ourselves and Earth.